TRUCK NUTZ

Oh man... ever hear of these things?? Well neither had I and let me tell you... I was STUNNED when I not only viewed them for the first time, but also that there even IS such a thing. It's totally gross. Naturally were I a male I'd have heard of them long ago since apparently they've been on the market for a pretty long time. In fact, from what I'm told they're even banned in some cities. Which is good. They're absolutely disgusting and wholly unnecessary.

Never seen any before?? Then guess what. Today's your lucky day. You can view them first hand in the picture up there. I saw them and had to take a picture of it IMMEDIATELY. What?? Are you kidding me?? There are testicles hanging from that lady's car?? OMG. Say it ain't so.

Unfortunately however I have to say: yes, so. It basically went down like this. I was recently a passenger in the car one day and we were stopped at a light. I took one look in front of me and whammo. I say: TIME OUT. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?? When told, in no time at all I whipped out my camera and started shooting away. I figured now THIS was something I had to document for posterity. Besides, ten to one I bet I never see this ever again.   

Anyway, to say this caught me off guard is an understatement. Like just how long has THIS been going on where people put chrome testicles on their rear fender?? To find out... I went to two sources. 1.) the Internet and 2.) my kid. On the net I found several sites that sell these and get this... they come in a total array of sizes and colors!! On the other hand, when I asked my son if he ever heard of these his reply was twofold: yes, he's certainly heard of them and no, if any mother sees her daughter being picked up for a date by a guy with these on his car... don't let her go! Basically meaning... the date is a major idiot.

Oh yeah... according to the Urban Dictionary... there are two definitions for Truck Nuts. Sitting down??

1. Truck Nuts: A pair of testicles attached to the rear of a car or truck used as an international symbol allowing homosexual men to identify each other. Red or blue colors are used to indicate if the vehicle owner is a "top" or a "bottom" while other colors indicate "no preference" as well as usual, or unusual preferences. Size of the nuts have no direct relationship to the actual size of the owner's penis and are usually misleading. 2. Originally bull balls, and now also human looking scrotum hanging from underneath the back of a truck. Usually to remind followers that the truck is masculine. Different colors indicate subtle meanings added. Usually considered a redneck accoutrement.


After reading this... I've decided there is basically no more I can possibly say about this topic. It's just way too over the edge for me to contemplate further. Seriously. How many times have I mentioned that entire world has totally gone to hell in a handbasket? See?? I AM right. Here's all the damn proof we'll ever friggin' need. Man... thank God I've got less than 20 years left to live. And btw... you're welcome for me teaching you about crazy ass urban life in the 21st century.